Week 1-The Journey Continues

Howdy!

It has been many months since I have entered the bloggy world and I can’t really say that I’ve missed it. I am not a “journaler” though many times I have tried to be. Blogging seems a lot like journaling to me and I struggle with it. BUT…I’m here for the next 26 weeks (at least) to record my journey through the Master Keys once again.

My old blueprint is STUBBORN! It has not been easily over-written with the positive changes I’ve been working on for a year. While there are some areas that are better, there are still some deeply entrenched habits that are not so easily reversed. So, after much thought and some prayer I made the decision to work through this program once again. I am looking forward to the changes ahead…and since I’ve done this already, I know the benefit of sticking with it. But it is NOT easy to commit to 26 weeks of anything when there is so much vying for my time.

I must think I am Super Woman because I wear many different hats; Mom, Daughter, Sister, Employee, Manager, Business Owner, Friend, Small Group Leader…and the list goes on. I wouldn’t trade any of those hats because they have all helped me grow into the woman I am today. God has used each of my “roles” to strengthen my character in different ways, at different times. So, it is with this foundation that I embark, once again, on a journey to renew my mind.

Wish me luck!

-til next time,

Laura

Week 19-My Love/Hate Relationship with Technology

Since the start of this Master Key Mastermind Alliance course, I have been repeatedly aware of the amount of time spent on electronic devices. Phones, iPads, Computers, Televisions, etc…they are not “evil” but neither are they “good”. They are devices created to keep us connected to everyone; to make our lives easier and more efficient; to allow us to do things faster and better.

I truly have a LOVE/HATE relationship with my phone, iPad, computer and television. While there are so many good things I use them for, I am always tethered to one or more of them. I have often said I would close my Facebook page if I wasn’t running a business using it. Standing in the grocery line, I grab my phone and sift through emails. Waiting for the gas to finish pumping I scroll through Facebook. Sitting in my office, I spend ALL DAY on the computer while keeping up with text messages and the like. It’s constant!

I became acutely aware of the amount of time I spend on these items, thanks to my son. The first thing he says when getting in the car is usually “can I see your phone?” The other day was not different, he asked the famous question. Being that great mom that I am, my response was “you don’t always have to be doing something.” And an alarm went off in my head. DING! DING! DING! Where does he get that need to be constantly doing something??? FROM ME! He sees me always fiddling with something, usually electronic. He sees me fast forward through commercials on the DVR. He sees me walk in the door and turn on the television. He sees me get in the car and immediately press PLAY on my audio book that plays through my Bluetooth system. He sees me! So, who am I to say he doesn’t always have to be doing something???

Distractions abound in my world. They have really kept me from focusing 100% since Christmas, on this MKMMA stuff. Technology is a great thing…but it’s a curse too. A double edged sword if you will. The same electronic devices that make my life easier, more efficient and connected also keep me from focusing on that which truly matters. And the thing is…I don’t even realize I’m so distracted. It is habit for me. I will be scrolling Facebook for 10 minutes before I even realize I’m doing it! While typing this entry, I heard my text message alert. What did I do? Stop typing, pick up the phone and read the message, of course. (sigh) Is there any hope for me to be rehabbed?

So, how does all of this play into my MKMMA journey? It’s a reminder of how entrenched my old blueprint is. It’s a reminder that I am still, 20 weeks later, in a battle to get rid of the old and replace it with new habits. It’s a reminder that my choices are affecting my son. It’s a reminder that I need to be focusing on what is truly important; time with him and renewing my mind. Email, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Blogs…all of it overwhelms me. But I continue to allow myself to be tethered.

Maybe I will implement a one day fast from all things electronic. But, let me see what’s happening on Facebook first.

—til next time.

Week 18-DO or Do Not; There is No Try

Yoda is one of my VERY favorite Star Wars characters. He tells Luke Skywalker, “try not; do or do not”. Basically he said THERE IS NO TRY! You will either DO or you will NOT DO. That sentiment is so very true for me right now in this journey. Every day I get up and make a choice; I will DO the work, or I will NOT DO the work.

I am on the last portion of this 26 week journey, where we transition from being instructor led, to internal led. It’s shifting to be an inward leading of myself down the path of success. Here is where the rubber meets the road. Will I carry one with this? Or, will I give up?
There are 4 stages of death: Denial, Anger, Grief and Acceptance

These stages of death apply to this journey. At the beginning, there was a call to this amazing program. Many chose to DENY its existence and choose not to do the work associated with it. As time went on, more people began dropping out because they were not completing the tasks, not making this a priority and ultimately did not engage 100%.

Next, ANGER came up. People were angry about the tasks they were asked to do; angry about having to listen to a webinar every week; and some angry at themselves for NOT doing the work. Dying to yourself is H-A-R-D! There is no room in this community for angry people, so they will slowly (or quickly) drop out.
Anger leads to GRIEF; a true heartfelt grief that comes up when you realize what is lost. For people on this journey, it’s the realization that there is TRUE FREEDOM available and they chose to walk away from it.

And grief leads to ACCEPTANCE; understanding that your decisions have consequences. Those who have chosen to not jump in 100%, not do all of the work, not participate, have to accept the lack of change in themselves. Everything assigned to us has a purpose, and it is to change us!

I will not die by my own hand. I will not give up this transformation I so deeply crave. I will not TRY to complete this journey…I will DO the work required to complete this journey. And then, likely, I will start all over and DO IT again with even more enthusiasm and commitment! I have 41 years of my old blueprint to re-write…it won’t happen in just 26 weeks. But…the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. And I will continue to put one foot in front of the other…until I reach the goal.

—til next time

Week 17-MIND vs. WILL

I have not done ONE THING this week for my Master Keys course. Not one. I did not read. I did not write my blog on time (which was due on the 24th). I did not sit. I did not look over my flash cards. I did not write my gratitude items. I did not even log into the webinar yesterday. Why? Because I was rebelling. Yep; rebelling against myself.

If there has EVER been a time in my life where the phrase “the battlefield of the mind” has become real to me, it is during this course. Yes. The Mind IS a battlefield. It is a battle between old and new; good and bad; productive and unproductive. This week, my mind won and I did NOTHING.

You see, my WILL is to do good, keep my commitments, truly embrace the changes I want to make. But my MIND says, “uh-uh. You are just fine the way you are, no change necessary. And you don’t really have to do XXX, this one time, there will be other opportunities.” And the negative self-talk goes on and on and on. The truth is, I have this battle EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. In truth, battling my MIND with my WILL is truly exhausting. And this week, I just did not have the energy.

I had planned to quit this course today. I started writing the “I’m so sorry, but my schedule just won’t let me finish this course” email to Mark & Davene. And it struck me. I AM NO LONGER A QUITTER! I can watch the videos tonight and jump right back in! So, I deleted the email; went to the website and printed this week’s assignment and notes; and am now writing my blog.

I may not see extreme change in myself yet, but small victories are presenting themselves. I just need to continue to do the next right thing, and all will fall into place. I have come TOO FAR in this journey to quit. I WILL PERSIST and I WILL WIN!
—til next time

Week 16-REPETITION is the Key

Do you remember ever reading a shampoo bottle? It says to wash, rinse and repeat if necessary. Most of the time, it is necessary. There is so much in life that happens through repetition. This Mastermind course is no different. For 16 weeks, we have repeated the following statements EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.

DO IT NOW! (20 times, twice each day)

I CAN BE WHAT I WILL TO BE! (25 times each day)

I ALWAYS KEEP MY PROMISES! (countless times each day)

While it may seem like a silly little exercise to repeat over and over and over, I am beginning to understand the benefits of repetition. Especially for me, who’s old blueprint consists of procrastination and self-doubt. I’m noticing that when I hesitate to begin something I need to do, the words DO IT NOW come to my mind. And when I discount my ability to do something, I CAN BE WHAT I WILL TO BE pops in.

The key to overcoming what I have spent 40 years building in myself, is repetition. Just do it. No matter what. My subconscious mind has my back! It reminds me that I am no longer content to live a life of quiet desperation. It reminds me that I want to BE MORE and to DO MORE with my life. I’m sure you’ve all heard the phrases “If you keep doing what you’re doing, you will keep getting what you’re getting” or “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results.” I’ve thought about that A LOT the last few weeks. Repetition of the daily exercises we are doing is training my subconscious mind to do something DIFFERENT. To act DIFFERENTLY, thus achieving a DIFFERENT result.

Words have power! No longer do I accept the negative self-talk that I was so used to. No longer do I accept that I can’t do something. No longer do I subscribe to the “I’ll do it later” mindset. A perfect example of this…it is 3:15 am in Texas, and I’m leaving for the airport at 5:00 am. I’m going to Florida for the annual convention for my home business. And this blog is due tomorrow. I am so excited about my trip that I was having trouble sleeping. I started thinking about how I was going to get this done by the deadline so, instead of just skipping this assignment, (as I would have done in the past) I got up and started writing. DO IT NOW!

What are you procrastinating about??? Well….DO IT NOW!!! Keep your promises—even to yourself!

—til next time

Week 15-DISCIPLINE is a Four-Letter Word

Is it TRULY possible to renew my mind, as the Bible commands? Throughout this journey, I have gone back to that question over and over and over. I want desperately to believe it is possible, but I don’t always want to put the work in. It’s like wanting to lose weight while eating everything in sight. Or wanting to be debt free but spending every penny on frivolous things.
Dictionary.com defines discipline as an activity, exercise, or a regimen that develops or improves a skill; training. That is what this course is all about. Discipline. Training my mind to think differently than I have all of my life. Develop new habits that replace the bad ones.

I don’t like discipline. I am lazy. I find it much easier to keep things just the way they are. But then I achieve and reap nothing new. And then I get mad at myself for NOT doing the work. And I can only blame myself. I have the tools; I choose how to spend my time; I make a decision every day whether or not I will do the work. Discipline is a four-letter word to me. But yet, it’s really not. Without discipline, my life would remain exactly as it is now. Discipline is required to change.
Like when I’m disciplining my 9 year old, because I want him to make a DIFFERENT or BETTER choice about something. I am no different. I must make DIFFERENT or BETTER choices to achieve what I want to. I want so much more out of my life. I want to give back. I want to help others. I want to have freedom of time and resources. And I can! If I put in the work. If I learn and practice discipline.

I’ll admit that it has been a real struggle to keep moving forward with this journey. Once the newness and excitement wore off (somewhere around week #8) and I realized it is WORK to change, I lost some momentum. The holidays came and I was REALLY lax about my assignments. So, here I am at week 15 feeling like I’m back at the beginning. Old habits die hard. My habits of procrastination and laziness fight me every.single.day. And some days they win.

“Anything worth having is worth working for”, has been my life long motto. And it’s true. A renewed mind; more success; opportunities to serve others…they are ALL worth working for. And I am worth it! God has BIG plans for me, as evidenced by some of the great things He is showing me. But he has more refining to do, in order for me to be ready. And it starts with discipline.
So, maybe discipline is NOT a four-letter word. Maybe, just maybe, it’s the first step toward a brand new life.

—til next time

Week 14-PERSISTENCE Pays Off

Our assignment for this week was to watch one of 4 movies (October Sky, Door to Door, Rudy or …). I chose October Sky and LOVED it! This movie is about a high school student living in a coal mining town, who becomes interested in rockets. Generations before him worked in the coal mines and it was expected that he would follow that path. However, he had different plans for his life.
He made the decision to build a rocket. He researched as much as he could find about rockets and even convinced his friends to join him in the pursuit. He pulled together scraps, built his first model and attempted to launch it. FAILURE.

He built another and launched it. FAILURE.

He built another and launched it. FAILURE.

At this point, his father has made it very clear to him that he is a complete disappointment because he is pursuing such a ridiculous dream. His father takes it very personally, that the son didn’t want to work in the mines—he wanted more for his life. The father banned him from working on the rockets in the basement so he found open land 8 miles from his house. He and his friends walked there and built a launching shelter. All the while, they continued building rocket models and launching them. With each one that failed, they researched more.

After the 13th rocket, the boys were accused of starting a forest fire with one of them. They were instructed to destroy the launch shelter and quit. Around the same time, his father got hurt in the mine. The boy made the decision to quit high school and go to work, to help the family financially. It seemed that he would give up his dream of building rockets, and for a while he did. But he began to spend his break times researching again and came to the conclusion that their rocket could NOT have started the fire. He proved it to the police. At that point, the town began to take the boys a little more seriously. All except his father.

He got back on track to follow his dream of launching the rocket. He quit his job and enrolled in school again. The boys entered and won the Science Fair at the school and earned the privilege to advance to the next level. Ultimately they won. The last scene of the movie is the boys launching another rocket and his father finally came to see it.

This is a very general summary of the movie. The thing that struck me is that no matter what, he did not let the others influence him. He kept pursuing his goal. Even when his father tried over and over to dissuade him, he continued on. Even though he got in his own way—choosing to drop out of school to work—he didn’t stay there. He ended up pursuing his dream with even more fervor—and he succeeded!

I began to think about my dreams and goals. Are they so ingrained in me that I will let NOTHING get in the way? Even myself? I’m blessed with extremely supportive family and friends…but I am notorious for getting in my own way. Just like the boy in the movie, I must persist in order to succeed. Each day I have the opportunity to start over and be better than the day before. FAILURE may happen, over and over and over…but each time, I get closer to success. THAT is what I will focus on!

I persist and I succeed!

—til next time

Week 13- RESOLVE

Week #13. Half-way through my 26 week journey to a renewed and focused mind. When I started this, I was unsure if I would truly embrace the assignments or if I would be able make the personal changes that are required for success. I am happy to say that I have enjoyed these assignments and have, for the most part, embraced them. The biggest thing I have written, edited, re-edited, etc. is my Definite Major Purpose (DMP). EVERYONE needs a DMP! This document is 400 words, describing what I want out of my life. It is full of goals and dreams that I have set for myself, with different time frames for completion. Consider it my road map to where I want to go and how I plan to get there.

My DMP is very personal and has slowly become part of me. When life gets really busy and feels chaotic, I read my DMP and get re-focused. I am learning to visualize achieving each goal and trying to really FEEL what it will be like as I cross them off my list. The emotion behind what I am focused on is the key. Emotions tied to goals and dreams, produce the power to achieve those goals and dreams. Each time I read it I become more attached to it. My Definite Major Purpose keeps me working. It keeps me prospecting for new business clients and team members. It keeps me pushing through the hard days and the busyness of my life. I want MORE for myself and God created me for GREATNESS. He wants to use me to help his children and I am so willing and ready to do so. But before He can do that, I have to allow him to continue to change and renew my mind. That is what this journey has been about. And it started with writing my DMP.

As we close out 2013, millions of people will make resolutions to better themselves in some way during 2014. I resolve NOT to make resolutions. I am not interested in a quick fix. I am not interested in putting a band-aid on some part of my life that is bleeding out. My mind is a battlefield and my old habits are NOT going down easily. Instead of making resolutions, I am focused on true mind renewal. One step at a time. One brain wave at a time. One thought at a time. I have a plan that reaches into 2014 and beyond and it begins with my DMP.

How do you approach the new year?

—til next year

Week 12-CATCHING FIRE or Catching Up

WHEW! What a week! I’m looking at the calendar in shock that Friday has come back around again. I have been down for the count, with illness for the last week, and it completely passed me by. Needless to say, assignments did not get done, work was left, grocery shopping hasn’t happened, house is a mess…etc. The list could go on and on and on. BUT—I’m finally on the mend and ready to get caught up!

Since I have spent very little time on my assignments this week, this blog entry will be fairly short. The one thing that has stuck with me is to write down at least 30 different things I have accomplished in my lifetime. Talk about going WWWAAYYYY back, to find some good ones….like, learned to ride a bicycle, memorized my multiplication tables (even though I swore I would NEVER use that information), graduated high school and college, got married, raising a child, got my own apartment, bought a house, etc…I loved this exercise and am quite sure I’ll have considerably more than 30 when I am done. It is so easy to get tunnel vision, and forget what we did in the past (unless it’s the bad stuff). This exercise is all about remembering the success we’ve had in life, and realize that the pattern of success continues.

So you might me questioning my title, for this blog entry. My old blueprint, the one I am desperately fighting to extinguish, would have looked at how far behind I am, and just quit. Literally—throw my hands up and say “I’ll never get caught up so I’ll just give up. Burn everything I’ve done.” Instead—because of this amazing journey I’m on, my determination to get caught up is EXTREME! I am headed into 12 days of vacation and will spend every one of them doing my assignments. No longer will I give up on myself. No longer will I decide that I am NOT worth pushing through the difficulties on to success. Because I AM WORTH IT! I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy!!! What freedom is coming to me!

—til next time

Week 11-PERSISTENCE is Power

Week 11. I kept thinking this new mindset, replacing my old blueprint with a new one, would get easier as the weeks go on. Yet, I find it harder and harder to fight it. But as Og Mandino states in Scroll III, “I will persist until I succeed.”

So much of life requires persistence. Working, financial goals, parenting, weight loss, exercise programs, etc. You name it…and it probably takes persistence to achieve. For a long time I have said “anything worth having is worth working for.” What are you working for?

I want so desperately to change my mindset. The Bible says to renew my mind. Now I finally understand what that means and how to do it. But it is HARD. Did I mention that it is HARD??? But it’s worth working for, so I’ll continue working. Take every thought captive, the Bible says. I understand that verse more now as well. It’s so easy for me to go down the negative path, before even realizing I’m doing it. The mental diet that we’ve been on for several weeks, has also been HARD. But it is making me more aware of the thoughts I have each day. No one wants to live as Negative Nelly, but so many times we don’t know how to change it.

This MKMMA program is HARD. There are a lot of assignments each week. Readings, writings, affirmations, and master minding with others, every day. Oh, and then there is the sitting. Yep, just sitting. Sitting and thinking. Thinking and sitting. My biggest struggle is finding—no, making—time to sit. and do nothing But that’s the biggest key—to envision my new reality. I am enjoying visualizing my new blueprint, seeing my dreams and goals come to fruition. And you know what…the HARD work is so worth putting in. And it will be wonderful when I’m living in my new reality! And I will be, because I will persist until I suceed.

Til next time—